Are men groomed for this lifestyle?

[Iahotwifeshusband]

I have been reflecting on my sexual history and how I transitioned from a relatively shy and naive teenager to a very open minded 50+ husband. Looking back, it certainly appears that my history has all but groomed me for where I am today.

Back in high school, I was very innocent and believed that the best way to gain a girl’s respect was to avoid being too aggressive with my sexual desires. I would joke around a lot, but never made the move. As a result, I had many opportunities to date and a fair amount of light play, but never had sex in high school. My eyes opened in college and I increased my pursuit of a young lady to have fun with vs. looking for a serious relationship. It wasn’t long before I met a gal a couple years younger than me, but far more experienced sexually. She was more than happy teaching me everything I needed to know. She was my first and we dated off and on through college. While, I did date several other young ladies while we were on breaks, I never had sex with any of them. My college girlfriend most definitely slept with other men both while we were on breaks as well as while we were dating. I caught her cheating several times which is why we had many breaks. Looking back, I should have let her go much earlier in college. However, I was thrilled with the endless chase to win her back. After college, I quickly wised up and let her go. I do wonder how she would have taken to being a hotwife.

After college, I was single and dating for about a year. Again, while I am a kinky fella on the inside, I have always been very respectful and somewhat shy around women. When I met my first wife, she absolutely made the first move. And she was relentless in her pursuit of me. I was a bit caught off guard, but enjoyed this hot little milf. She was 27, had already been married twice and had three kids. One from her first marriage and two from her second. After two marriages, she learned that chasing bad boys wasn’t getting her where she needed to go. I guess I was the nice young man she was looking for. She was also experienced in the bedroom and used her prowess to win me over. She knew how to fuck and was very good at using her body to get what she wanted. She didn’t hide it from me that she had been this way since high school. She was far more experienced than my first girlfriend and had I ever offered to share her, she would have jumped at the chance. I have no proof, but expect she wasn’t just enjoying my cock during the 9 years we dated and were married. At some point after marriage, she just quit trying in every way and had no interest in changing until I moved out and filed for divorce. Then, she instantly turned on her sexual ways and tried her best to win me back. However, after years of neglect, I could ... my future with her.

The next year, I was mainly single again, but would casually date women from time to time. Again, zero fucking other women for sport, but always heavy flirting. I had numerous opportunities during this time, but I was not wired to have sex without anything beyond physical attraction. Also, After a pretty rough ending to my marriage, I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. Then, when I wasn’t looking, along comes my current wife. We met through a mutual friend, who was desperately trying to fuck her, and she quickly decided she was into me more than him. Knowing he was interested in her, I shut down her advances for several months. It was only when my friend and my future wife conspired to set us up on a date that I finally relented. In my mind, it wasn’t even supposed to be a date, it was supposed to be the three of us going out for drinks. That turned into a double date when his girlfriend decided to join us. By that point, it was too late to back out. When my future wife showed up for our first date, she looked amazing. I was 32 and had this hot little 22 year old smokeshow clearly into me. Our first date went very well and after several drinks at the bar, she asked if she could stay the night. How could I say no? She stayed the night and gave me numerous reasons to meet up with her again. Not unlike my previous two partners, this young lady was more experienced at 22 than I was at 32. (And by a very large margin). We talked openly about our pasts and she explained that she didn’t lose her virginity until she was 18, but enjoyed sex so much she got as much as she could from 18 to 20 until she met a bad boy who claimed he was infertile due to a car accident and didn’t need to wear condoms. Yup, she got pregnant and he left. Being a single mom slowed her down for a little bit, but by the time we met, she was very comfortable being a soccer mom by day and minx at night. She wasn’t looking for a baby daddy when we met, but she fell in love with me almost immediately. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, so it took me a while to be willing to agree to a serious relationship. Once I accepted that I lover her as much as she loved me, it wasn’t long before we were married and had two more children together and I adopted our oldest ....... Since day, my wife has been sexually adventurous. She did fuck a few other guys while we were figuring out if we were dating or not. I also fully expect she has pleasured a few men during the first ten years of our marriage without my knowledge. I have asked, but she claims she was faithful until we agreed for her to be a hotwife. For the past 8 years, she has had my support to play with other men and she has enjoyed the opportunity. She doesn’t have an exact count, but estimates she fucked around 50 men before marriage. We have kept track and she has added 30 more men since marriage. Meanwhile, my lifetime body count sits at three. Two women that I married and one college girlfriend of four years.

I am definitely a Type A person and have achieved everything I set out to in life. I also have a kinky side and while I never pursued promiscuous women, each of my lovers has been promiscuous. I suppose that’s likely because I essentially required the ladies to make the big move and promiscuous women are far more likely to do that. Ironically, I have turned down far more women than I have slept with, even though I was very attracted to the majority of the women I didn’t ...... with. It is really just now becoming interesting to me to fuck for sport in my early 50s and after watching my wife fuck for sport. The main thing stopping me now is that my wife is very jealous and isn’t comfortable sharing me. It was never a quid pro quo situation when we agreed for her to start playing. Both are mutually exclusive decisions. I am interested in variety after 18 years of monogamous sex.

My question for others is: Do you think it was just a matter of time before my stag tendencies came to light, or is it the environment of only dating promiscuous women that opened my eyes and mind to this? And how do other stag’s experiences compare to mine?

 

[Loridan]

Our guy friend shaves smooth, wife does too. I have been smooth but I trim most of it off.
Our friend has a skinny nerd type body, big tool. I will say he looks hot standing there full hard. I'm the husband and I don't play with him at all but he's looks good.

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

Our guy friend shaves smooth, wife does too. I have been smooth but I trim most of it off.
Our friend has a skinny nerd type body, big tool. I will say he looks hot standing there full hard. I'm the husband and I don't play with him at all but he's looks good.

My apologies, I chose a word with multiple meanings. When I said grooming, I meant that I wonder if my life choices and environment opened the door for me to be a stag. I didn’t mean “grooming” in the meaning of trimming my pubic region. Though, I do shave my balls and keep my pubes trimmed at all times. Sorry for the confusion!

 

[cuck4life]

I for one think my upbringing had some bearing on my becoming a cuckold. I was raised by a very controlling and dominated ....... When I would misbehave my ...... would have me lower my pants and underwear and lay across the bed. She would then use a thin leather belt on my bottom until she felt i had learned my lesson. I was never held down I had to put my hands over my head and take it. This type of corporal punishment continued into my mid teens. I was raised to be submit to a dominate female.

This i believe had some impact on how years later I would find myself comfortable living as a cuckold.

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

I for one think my upbringing had some bearing on my becoming a cuckold. I was raised by a very controlling and dominated ....... When I would misbehave my ...... would have me lower my pants and underwear and lay across the bed. She would then use a thin leather belt on my bottom until she felt i had learned my lesson. I was never held down I had to put my hands over my head and take it. This type of corporal punishment continued into my mid teens. I was raised to be submit to a dominate female.

This i believe had some impact on how years later I would find myself comfortable living as a cuckold.

Thanks for the feedback! I would love to hear about other’s experiences and how it may have shaped their view of sex and relationships.

I read about some men who have very conservative wives and they still desire wife sharing. I have never had a serious relationship with a conservative woman. I like my women to be a bit naughty and open minded.

 

[coastalkid]

I don't think women really understand what a man goes through when he feels like his window of opportunity is closing. I know many women do become very obsessed with their appearance and their age and they feel too old for the competition. They still have the pussy and there's plenty of men that love older women. Their chances are far better than an older male.

It can gnaw at your heart not getting to at least try some things you find exciting. No one wants to be disappointed in their sex life.

I finally found a hot wife online that I believed they truly was a hot wife and had a chat with her. She admitted flatly that she knew she had it good. She was having A LOT of fun. She wasn't/isn't denying her husband. He isn't humiliated. She began to feel bad that her husband didn't get the same opportunity for a similar amazing sexual experience as she had. She wanted to be grateful and started to have feelings of "compersion" for her husband. She also flatly acknowledged that refusing her husband the thrill she was receiving was defenselessly hypocritical.

She allowed her husband to have a girlfriend whenever she was out hotwifing. It wasn't easy for her at first and she admitted to having pangs of jealousy from time to time. Ultimately she said that she could relax and enjoy herself more when she went out with her boyfriends knowing her husband was having his fun too.

You don't often read about wives like that one! Too bad!

 

[jsaltydog]

I have been reflecting on my sexual history and how I transitioned from a relatively shy and naive teenager to a very open minded 50+ husband. Looking back, it certainly appears that my history has all but groomed me for where I am today.

Back in high school, I was very innocent and believed that the best way to gain a girl’s respect was to avoid being too aggressive with my sexual desires. I would joke around a lot, but never made the move. As a result, I had many opportunities to date and a fair amount of light play, but never had sex in high school. My eyes opened in college and I increased my pursuit of a young lady to have fun with vs. looking for a serious relationship. It wasn’t long before I met a gal a couple years younger than me, but far more experienced sexually. She was more than happy teaching me everything I needed to know. She was my first and we dated off and on through college. While, I did date several other young ladies while we were on breaks, I never had sex with any of them. My college girlfriend most definitely slept with other men both while we were on breaks as well as while we were dating. I caught her cheating several times which is why we had many breaks. Looking back, I should have let her go much earlier in college. However, I was thrilled with the endless chase to win her back. After college, I quickly wised up and let her go. I do wonder how she would have taken to being a hotwife.

After college, I was single and dating for about a year. Again, while I am a kinky fella on the inside, I have always been very respectful and somewhat shy around women. When I met my first wife, she absolutely made the first move. And she was relentless in her pursuit of me. I was a bit caught off guard, but enjoyed this hot little milf. She was 27, had already been married twice and had three kids. One from her first marriage and two from her second. After two marriages, she learned that chasing bad boys wasn’t getting her where she needed to go. I guess I was the nice young man she was looking for. She was also experienced in the bedroom and used her prowess to win me over. She knew how to fuck and was very good at using her body to get what she wanted. She didn’t hide it from me that she had been this way since high school. She was far more experienced than my first girlfriend and had I ever offered to share her, she would have jumped at the chance. I have no proof, but expect she wasn’t just enjoying my cock during the 9 years we dated and were married. At some point after marriage, she just quit trying in every way and had no interest in changing until I moved out and filed for divorce. Then, she instantly turned on her sexual ways and tried her best to win me back. However, after years of neglect, I could ... my future with her.

The next year, I was mainly single again, but would casually date women from time to time. Again, zero fucking other women for sport, but always heavy flirting. I had numerous opportunities during this time, but I was not wired to have sex without anything beyond physical attraction. Also, After a pretty rough ending to my marriage, I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. Then, when I wasn’t looking, along comes my current wife. We met through a mutual friend, who was desperately trying to fuck her, and she quickly decided she was into me more than him. Knowing he was interested in her, I shut down her advances for several months. It was only when my friend and my future wife conspired to set us up on a date that I finally relented. In my mind, it wasn’t even supposed to be a date, it was supposed to be the three of us going out for drinks. That turned into a double date when his girlfriend decided to join us. By that point, it was too late to back out. When my future wife showed up for our first date, she looked amazing. I was 32 and had this hot little 22 year old smokeshow clearly into me. Our first date went very well and after several drinks at the bar, she asked if she could stay the night. How could I say no? She stayed the night and gave me numerous reasons to meet up with her again. Not unlike my previous two partners, this young lady was more experienced at 22 than I was at 32. (And by a very large margin). We talked openly about our pasts and she explained that she didn’t lose her virginity until she was 18, but enjoyed sex so much she got as much as she could from 18 to 20 until she met a bad boy who claimed he was infertile due to a car accident and didn’t need to wear condoms. Yup, she got pregnant and he left. Being a single mom slowed her down for a little bit, but by the time we met, she was very comfortable being a soccer mom by day and minx at night. She wasn’t looking for a baby daddy when we met, but she fell in love with me almost immediately. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, so it took me a while to be willing to agree to a serious relationship. Once I accepted that I lover her as much as she loved me, it wasn’t long before we were married and had two more children together and I adopted our oldest ....... Since day, my wife has been sexually adventurous. She did fuck a few other guys while we were figuring out if we were dating or not. I also fully expect she has pleasured a few men during the first ten years of our marriage without my knowledge. I have asked, but she claims she was faithful until we agreed for her to be a hotwife. For the past 8 years, she has had my support to play with other men and she has enjoyed the opportunity. She doesn’t have an exact count, but estimates she fucked around 50 men before marriage. We have kept track and she has added 30 more men since marriage. Meanwhile, my lifetime body count sits at three. Two women that I married and one college girlfriend of four years.

I am definitely a Type A person and have achieved everything I set out to in life. I also have a kinky side and while I never pursued promiscuous women, each of my lovers has been promiscuous. I suppose that’s likely because I essentially required the ladies to make the big move and promiscuous women are far more likely to do that. Ironically, I have turned down far more women than I have slept with, even though I was very attracted to the majority of the women I didn’t ...... with. It is really just now becoming interesting to me to fuck for sport in my early 50s and after watching my wife fuck for sport. The main thing stopping me now is that my wife is very jealous and isn’t comfortable sharing me. It was never a quid pro quo situation when we agreed for her to start playing. Both are mutually exclusive decisions. I am interested in variety after 18 years of monogamous sex.

My question for others is: Do you think it was just a matter of time before my stag tendencies came to light, or is it the environment of only dating promiscuous women that opened my eyes and mind to this? And how do other stag’s experiences compare to mine?

Our life stories are similar. I was raised to respect women, so it never occurred to me that I should and could be more aggressive about seeking sex. I thought a "date" meant going to a movie or out to dinner, but no sex until we fell in love. No surprise that I was a virgin until almost age 21, and my first sex happened when my GF invited me to her place for pizza and she jumped on me. Honestly, I did not feel attracted to her and our relationship did not last very long. I should add that, upon reflection, my lack of aggression in pursuing sex probably convinced people that I was gay. I recall several encounters with male and female friends who asked if there were any women that I liked or they expressed surprise when I showed desire for a particular woman. I did not think anything of it at the time, but I now believe that they suspected that I was gay, which probably did not help in my search for sex with women.

Fast forward to meeting my first wife, who I was attracted to. We had sex on the night that I first met her, which resulted in her getting pregnant. We married, but she cheated and lied about it. In retrospect, I wish that we had been honest about our sexual desires and that we explored the lifestyle. I am sure that she would have agreed to an open marriage in which we honestly communicated our desires and encouraged each other to fulfill them. I am sure that she would have agreed to the many sexual fantasies that circulated in the recesses of my brain. Unfortunately, I was still captive of the traditional marriage/family model and was unable to understand my true desires.

Anyway, after our divorce, I had difficulty with dating and sex. First off, I was really terrified about getting another woman pregnant, especially someone who did not really attract me. I remember bringing a woman home who really wanted sex badly, but then I asked myself what would happen should I get her pregnant. So, I gave her money to take a taxi home. Another big problem was that I wanted any GF to have all of the positive traits of my first wife (especially her sexual dynamism) but none of her bad traits (like being irresponsible with her children and always being high). I remember one woman who was great in bed, but wasn't too bright, so I stopped seeing her. Big mistake. Unfortunately, I was looking for the perfect partner. I should add that a couple of women really turned me on, but their ...... or alcohol problems prevented a long-term relationship.

Flash forward, I finally remarried as I realized that time was running out in my life. I married someone who is not very sexual (I honestly believe that she would prefer another woman as a sexual partner). Our sex is not great, and in my younger years I would never have considered marriage with her. It was after years of bad to no sex with her that I decided to make the plunge into man-to-man sex, and in particular me giving oral or bottoming (although not much of the latter). Perhaps, I was bi-sexual all along.

In any case, I think that my shyness and naiveté about sex as a young man probably shaped my desires for a hot wife, especially one who had sex with multiple men, gang bangs, etc. If I was bi all along, then that would have also been a factor shaping my desire for a wife who cuckolded me and had sex with lots of men. I think that women that are commonly called sluts attract me because their lack of sexual inhibitions give me the signal that it is okay for me to pursue sex with them. Women who are "proper" or pretend to be "proper" make me apprehensive about aggressively seeking sex. The so-called slutty women essentially give me a green light that I cannot fail to see. Likewise, a hot wife would give me the liberty to suggest and pursue sexual scenarios for the two of us that a traditional wife would outright reject. From my perspective, a hot wife would have been sexually liberating for me when I was a young man. Unfortunately, I did not understand that when I was young.

 

[calicolombia69]

I was initialy groomed by accident. Painfully shy teen; as was my male cousin. But he had access to porn mags back in Colombia. It was European porn so they mixed bi and gay sex all together. I didnt even catalogue it as bi or gay; I just learned to see it as normal sex.

So next step was trying the stuff out with my cousin. I was soon sucking cock and eventually swallowing cum on weekend ......-overs. Thought nothing of it, except it was very enjoyable.

Similary, I didnt really date college. But I always found the sluts, both in HS and College to be more exciting than the "popular" chicks. When I finally got to lick my first pussies Senior yr in college, I knew for a fact they were well used pussies. I caught a lot of grief from my roomates but I didnt care. I kept on chasing them.

My 1st wife took my virginity. 5 yrs older than me, sexually experienced and with a kid. She did have a boyfriend. We eventually made out and once again, I made it to the licking stage. At this point, she told me that she really liked me and wanted to take my virginity; but she had a boyfriend she didnt want to dump.

The arrangement was that I would baby sit her kid on Fri and Saturday evenings so she could visit her BF. She would arrive back around 2am and we would fuck for what seemed hours. Who was I to make demands! I was getting my first pussy and it was glorious.

She would get home, get naked and into her bed where I was waiting. She would make me lick her. She tasted and smelled of cum. But again, I didnt want to embarrass her by asking her to clean up or wash. So as I licked her, I was swallowing Mr boyfriend's cum. I gave her about 5 multiple orgasms just from sucking her.

As I came up and fucked her, she started thanking me for making her fantasy come true. I asked what it was. She said that by licking her cum-filled pussy, I made her feel secure with her double dating. Again, with my small cock inside her, I wasnt about to protest!

She would always make the same comments whenever I was fucking her. Would thank me and ask me not to leave her despite it being wrong.

A few evenings, when her kid was with his father (her ex), I was over but she had to see her BF. So she would ask me to help her get dressed and put on a fishnet or something, shave and even paint her nails. She always required me to be naked. As she strutted around the room in heels and fishnet, she wanted my opinion. My dick expressed his opinion. So she teased me and ask me, while caressing my throbbing dick, if I was OK with her going out tonight so she could relieve her boyfriend's cock which was also hard and full of cum.

In conclusion, she was an excellent groomer because I never ever felt a pang of jealousy.

 

[jsaltydog]

Seems that one of the common themes is that we were shy as teens and didn't have sexual experience (at least with women, for me it was neither men or women) until well past the norm. I read a serious article once that spoke about delayed or missed sexual milestones. Men who were late with certain milestones in life (making out, dating, losing virginity, etc) never really caught up to the normal pace of sexual life. They were always years behind on reaching the sexual milestones and never really had full sex lives. This often has a negative effect on a guy's self-esteem, at least as far as sex and relationships with women are concerned. Maybe this is a factor in some of us wanting the cuckold lifestyle and to be married to wives that sexually active with many men.

I will say that despite having had much less sex in my life than I desired, my sexual partners (male and female) commonly complimented me on my sexual ability. This always surprised me since I have only average endowment and don't have movie star looks. Despite my shyness with women, once they give me a chance, I made them feel really good. I was actually surprised at my ability.

 

[Bowlerlb]

I think all men, just by being men are set up to be cuckolds. See link to paper by therapist.

Susan Gower on Cuckolding

First let me say that I agree fully with the content of the alleged author's essay and though I've seen this text all over the 'net I've been unable to find any original source of this work by "Susan Gower". By sex therapist & relationships counselor Susan Gower After studying human sexuality...

cuckoldmarriage.info

Raises some interesting points.

 

[PaulLani]

I don't think women really understand what a man goes through when he feels like his window of opportunity is closing. I know many women do become very obsessed with their appearance and their age and they feel too old for the competition. They still have the pussy and there's plenty of men that love older women. Their chances are far better than an older male.

It can gnaw at your heart not getting to at least try some things you find exciting. No one wants to be disappointed in their sex life.

I finally found a hot wife online that I believed they truly was a hot wife and had a chat with her. She admitted flatly that she knew she had it good. She was having A LOT of fun. She wasn't/isn't denying her husband. He isn't humiliated. She began to feel bad that her husband didn't get the same opportunity for a similar amazing sexual experience as she had. She wanted to be grateful and started to have feelings of "compersion" for her husband. She also flatly acknowledged that refusing her husband the thrill she was receiving was defenselessly hypocritical.

She allowed her husband to have a girlfriend whenever she was out hotwifing. It wasn't easy for her at first and she admitted to having pangs of jealousy from time to time. Ultimately she said that she could relax and enjoy herself more when she went out with her boyfriends knowing her husband was having his fun too.

You don't often read about wives like that one! Too bad!

I'm the man of this couple and I agree with you. I've never been denied my fun. She loves me to have other women and sometimes joins in just as I often join in with her.
My main game is her pleasure.
I love see it or hear about it and I'm straight so if I join in with her guy or more, all the cocks are for her

 

[jsaltydog]

I think all men, just by being men are set up to be cuckolds. See link to paper by therapist.

Susan Gower on Cuckolding

First let me say that I agree fully with the content of the alleged author's essay and though I've seen this text all over the 'net I've been unable to find any original source of this work by "Susan Gower". By sex therapist & relationships counselor Susan Gower After studying human sexuality...

cuckoldmarriage.info

Raises some interesting points.

Wow! Wish I had read something like this when I was young. My first wife and I went to a marriage counselor. He never suggested anything like this. He really pushed for the monogamous marriage. Wish the author of this article had been our counselor.

 

[Jeanswatcher]

There is a common theme emerging here,

I was brought up in a rural area where there were few girls. In the main i was happy with my own company and with the few boys my age that lived nearby. I was taught to respect females. I was an only ...... and our extended family only consisted of boys, therefore by the time i reached my mid teens i had little to no experience of the female variety.

I knew what i liked by then, the female figure in nice tight fitting jeans but was shy and lacked the communication skills really to talk to the wearers.

By this time i hit my mid to late teens i was a masturbator always thinking about the curvy jean clad bodies i had seen that day, but still had not actually touched a female. I retain this fetish.

18 and at residential college there were plenty of girls some i craved because of their jeans and i had plenty of opportunities that i threw away, i simply didn't know how to interact with them or to be fair how to really talk to them for more than a few minutes.

As i hit 20 i went to work abroad, i was tall, 6ft 4, slim and muscular and there i was chased by a young woman, it was she that seduced me and showed me what she wanted as i pushed my dick into her tight pussy, i didn't last long. On future meets she always wanted it and would sometimes suck my dick whilst feeling my ass then before i came remove her jeans and id enter her and give her my load, she seamed very satisfied by this.

I met another girl, she was super fit and a fine wearer of jeans, i felt her up every time we "went out", she rarely touched me but she liked looking at my large dick, she was a virgin and said she didn't want to "do it" yet. She however became happy with me dumping my seed onto her bush.

One evening before i dropped her home, she said she would like to taste my cock, we parked up, i told her what to do and gently pushed my dick into her mouth, it was her first time. She said she didn't want me to cum in her mouth and as i was about to, i pulled him out and mistakenly shot it over her t shirt, face and hair, soon after i had to drop her off, her curfew time.

The following week i drove to where she said she always was, she wasn't there, nor the following week but the third and final time she was there. She said as she walked into her house she was met by her ...... and she knew immediately what she had done and grounded her.

Returning to the UK i got a job with a uniform and became very popular with the girls, i had a few, mainly petting them then got a girlfriend, she wanted sex and every night we met we did it, on a period she sucked and swollowed, all good.

Then one night i was approached by a couple of ...... teenagers, one tried to chat me up and finally left me with her phone number, i didn't rate this drunken loud girl but was then bet by my colleague that i couldn't take her out, game on. The following day i rung the number, spoke a man, then her.

She agreed to meet, i was nervous but approaching the meet point stood on the pavement was a very tall slim girl in...nice tight jeans, she had such long shapely legs encased in denim and a fantastic ass. I knew I had to have her.

I took her out that evening, we got on immediately, it was like talking to a boy we had a lot in common too ,she was very shy, mature, quite masculine in her view and a typical tomboy from a strict family. She had just turned 16, just left school and got a job. The polar opposite of how id seen her the previous night. It later transpired that the day she started working all her parents restrictions especially about having a boyfriend disappeared.

We kept on going out several times a week, she was untouched and had the persona of touch....if you dare and i daren't. Whilst i was working sometimes i saw she her out on the town and ......, she was a different animal then. Yes she used get into the pubs and clubs at 16.

I was the dominant one, masculine, mature and sensible in our friendship. We had been going out for maybe 8 weeks before I touched her breast over her jumper, this surprised her but she said it was ok, so I continued. She gave me her virginity probably about 8 weeks later too.

By this time strangely I had realised I liked other men admiring my pretty, stunning tall girlfriend.

Grooming, its not a term id use, I would use the term, gentle, female manipulation of a naive man, this is how it played out with us.

Shortly after she gave me her virginity she went out one evening with a man in his mid 30s, she phoned me and admitted this the same night. She had known him since she was 14 and he had been her teenage crush and she had made a mistake.

The following day I went to see her, told her we were finished, she cried as she confessed, then just as I was leaving she begged me to make love to her for the last time, as I entered her wet pussy all was forgiven.

Unconnected stood in her bedroom that Christmas with my 35mm camera I asked if she would remove her top for a picture, quite why I asked this I didn't know, it wasn't the purpose of taking my camera. After a dirty look and pause, she removed her top and bra and stood there as I took that picture, she looked very nervous. Picture 1 to 3 now on 19000+, still she doesnt like her picture being taken.

I had a friend who had a photography shop, he was shocked as the pictures came to life, he named her and said she wasn't the sort to do this, he knew her as an innocent teenager through her .......

Why hadn't she told me of this risk? Years later she admitted she found it a turn on posing for me but also found it a turn on standing in front of a man in his 50s feeling wet, as her ...... chatted to him knowing he had seen her topless, then later fully naked.

(A strange kink involving your parents especially for a 16 year old girl yet one that continues to this day)

A milestone arrived when she was 17, she got fucked on holiday and told me immediately, this time I wasn't annoyed I was rather turned on by her confession and made love to her as she told me all.

I also gained real enjoyment out of other men looking at her, I loved this, she said she didn't. But at 17 she was occasionally going out with me wearing suspenders under her tight jeans as a treat for me, yes I knew others could see the straps too curving round her small but curvy ass and also at the front, pressing through the denim, then she bought knee height boots making her 6ft 3.

I also knew away from me she was a wild ...... especially when with her friends in pubs and clubs, but I trusted her.

We married deeply in love when she was 18. She later said she deeply loved me I was and am her perfect husband, kind, considerate a masculine dominant male a man to care and share her life with and a husband that may allow her to have a lover too.

Stupidly i still allowed to occasionally go clubbing into her late 20s even though she was a ...... of two, I still liked other men admiring her.

Other things I never noticed about my shy reserved girlfriend and new bride, things she later admitted in her mid 20s.

She had her first affair aged 20 onwards with her driving instructor, she later questioned didnt I really know? No I didn't. She commented she would sometimes kiss me goodbye climb into his car and I never noticed she was wearing a dress and suspenders? No.

The smell in our marital bed, yes I remember this but didn't add 2 and 2, I knew she wasn't the sort and trusted her.

She told me she would go clubbing get drinks bought for her and sometimes snog other men and be felt up:

The worst she said was one night she wore baggy fashionable trousers and men's braces, I remember those, I have pictures of her in them. ...... one night a chap she semi knew stood behind her surrounded by his friends, he started kissing her on the neck as she stood holding a drink then shoved his hand down her trousers and played with her clit, she then collapsed backwards as her legs gave way, dropped her drink and ended up on him as she had an almighty orgasm.

Now finally back to “grooming”

I was groomed by my then best friend over a period of maybe two years, he was a married serial womaniser who told me the women he wanted to fuck was my young wife and he knew she would be easy to seduce and wanted it. I disagreed and said No. I worked with him and therefore this was a common conversion as i told him about my lack of an active sex life. Overtime he moved onto asking, would I like to see him seduce and fuck her, I knew she wouldn't so said NO.

Finally worn down by all this i agreed he could try and soon after I watched as he did just that, (written elsewhere)

I was shocked to the core but also liked it, maybe I was always this way?

Our sex life improved so I allowed him to continue to seeing her,

A couple of years later it went wrong, again covered elsewhere,in the ensuing argument she confessed the details I have written above, she also confessed the first time i watched her with him was arranged by her, she wanted me to know and accept her having a lover within the marriage, she had been having an affair with him for several years pre this and knew I was now ready to see this from what I had discussed with my “best friend”.

Then I realised, that as i had allowed this to continue granted based on a lie, I had in reality always been her cuck husband.

Since then i have become her facilitator in finding her lovers, i remain the alpha masculine dominant male i always was, but have surrendered by sexual masculinity as she then went onto permanently cage and semi feminize me. I like this too.

She views a man who is husband material and a male who can expand her sexuality as being two different people. I do have to agree.........

 

[PaulLani]

In my experience, it's usually the husband who grooms his wife to join the lifestyle.
I've heard so many men say they've been trying for years to get their wives to fuck another man but she won't even though he's told her how much he wants her to and those who do cuckold their husbands often talk about how they resisted at the beginning but their husbands eventually talked them around.
The only exception I know to this is men who meet women who are already fucking other men and have no intention of changing that.
Lani was already a cock loving slut when I met her which was on a fuck date so no grooming was necessary from either of us.

 

[calicolombia69]

Seems that one of the common themes is that we were shy as teens and didn't have sexual experience (at least with women, for me it was neither men or women) until well past the norm. I read a serious article once that spoke about delayed or missed sexual milestones. Men who were late with certain milestones in life (making out, dating, losing virginity, etc) never really caught up to the normal pace of sexual life. They were always years behind on reaching the sexual milestones and never really had full sex lives. This often has a negative effect on a guy's self-esteem, at least as far as sex and relationships with women are concerned. Maybe this is a factor in some of us wanting the cuckold lifestyle and to be married to wives that sexually active with many men.

I will say that despite having had much less sex in my life than I desired, my sexual partners (male and female) commonly complimented me on my sexual ability. This always surprised me since I have only average endowment and don't have movie star looks. Despite my shyness with women, once they give me a chance, I made them feel really good. I was actually surprised at my ability.

Like a doctor, engineer or financial advisor: you can have years of experience but still be mediocre. On the other hand, you could start your career late but make up for it by proactively acquiring practice and continuous learning. I have always been complimented on my pussy licking. This is thanks to reading my uncle's copy of The Sensuous Man by "M" Yes, seems like uncle and auntie did have a good sex life.

Back in Colombia, especially the small towns, it is customary to take your own sons to the brothel when they turn 16. Sure, I tore my tunic when I heard this. We condemn this action by decreeing that the youngsters are still immature and they will learn to see women as sexual objects. But there may be a point to this ancient tradition. From my small sample pool, most now have marriages with the same stability or instability as couples here in the US.

My wife had a similar experience. Though she married far too young, she was far behind her school mates when it came to bedroom activities. So when she divorced at 22, she made up for it above and beyond, and has continued to this day. We always rationalize that since she never enjoyed her teen years or an early single life, she is allowed to have men and enjoy life as if she were single, whenever she can get a date or have an affair.

 

[Loridan]

When I was much younger I had pretty good luck with girls. I was deathly afraid of getting a girl pregnant so I was real good with a nice makeout session playing with her tits, sucking her nipples and getting jacked off or some head. All this most always happened in my car.
The first girl that wanted to kiss me after she swallowed my load I thought I might puke. But when I realized how excited she got I was hooked on doing what she liked.
That morphed into this engaged girl my age, good upstanding church girl, 19 I was 20. Strong church family. She was on the pill so she could have sex with her fiancee, he parents didn't know obviously. Her thing was a long make out session naked, some oral on each other then fuck me like crazy till I'd cum. She practically shoved my head down there right after I filled her, that got her off quick, we'd kiss while she rubbed her clit till I was hard then we'd do it all again. She was good with some butt sex too.
I'd say I was groomed by several women.

 

[calicolombia69]

When I was much younger I had pretty good luck with girls. I was deathly afraid of getting a girl pregnant so I was real good with a nice makeout session playing with her tits, sucking her nipples and getting jacked off or some head. All this most always happened in my car.
The first girl that wanted to kiss me after she swallowed my load I thought I might puke. But when I realized how excited she got I was hooked on doing what she liked.
That morphed into this engaged girl my age, good upstanding church girl, 19 I was 20. Strong church family. She was on the pill so she could have sex with her fiancee, he parents didn't know obviously. Her thing was a long make out session naked, some oral on each other then fuck me like crazy till I'd cum. She practically shoved my head down there right after I filled her, that got her off quick, we'd kiss while she rubbed her clit till I was hard then we'd do it all again. She was good with some butt sex too.
I'd say I was groomed by several women.

I think we are talking about being groomed into cuckolding. But to your point, you were groomed into eating your own cum.

I do agree that their arousal is what makes us do ....... My wife has said that on a few ocassions she was not into fucking other guys, but my state of arousal kept her doing it.

Also note that for those of us who have suffered a few bouts of jealousy, instead of the wive's stopping their affairs, they persuade us that all is good, they aren't going to leave us. But they dont think of stopping. They are too addicted to good cock and the abilities of these other men.

 

[Iahotwifeshusband]

I greatly appreciate the comments on this post. There is some excellent information and perspective to digest.

I think being a bit shy and naive definitely opens the door to being pursued by women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go get it. I also believe that women are more open about their desires now than in the past and they are able to pursue their desires as well.

Keep the feedback coming!

 

[calicolombia69]

An experienced woman soon picks up if a guy is inexperienced. That allows them to mold us to their interests and objectives. Now some guys are never going to consent to sharing their partner no matter how inexperienced.

 

[paracufz]

Thanks for the feedback! I would love to hear about other’s experiences and how it may have shaped their view of sex and relationships.

I read about some men who have very conservative wives and they still desire wife sharing. I have never had a serious relationship with a conservative woman. I like my women to be a bit naughty and open minded.

My wife is very conservative however she likes to play.