Ladies, what made you say "Yes" when your partner/husband introduced his fantasy? What did he say that convinced you?

[UKDevil]

Or... What really put you off the idea at first?

So let me add a bit of context, I'll try and be brief. I'm not married but I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she has no idea about my feelings of her being able to explore other people. It's something I seriously want to become a reality with the correct boundaries in place.

We have a very, very healthy relationship, she's truly my other half, we do live separately (which could be a real advantage). We never argue, and love eachother deeply.

However, I'd say she's a fairly traditional, normal vanilla kind of girl. She doesn't have a high sex drive, if anything she has low libido.

I'd like to tell her my feelings, I was thinking to bring it up during a bottle of wine when it is relevant to another conversation, I'd say something to get the ball rolling along the lines of: I would actually not mind if you had sex with someone else, if I'm going to be honest, the thought of it turns me on, the only thing that would bother me is the emotional side (if you got emotionally attracted to someone else, basically it was more than just sex). I thought it was strange at first but then I found out it's very common. I've felt this way for a while but never had the balls to talk about it. How do you feel about it? Etc...

I'm sure I can work on a better way of telling her.

One struggle I think I'll have is the fact that from the start of the relationship our conversations about our monogamous relationship have been just that... The thought of one of us stepping out of that monogamy hasn't been there. She wears a fake wedding ring when she goes out clubbing so guys don't approach her, she told me once a guy came to her and her friends to ask the time and she immediately said, "I have a boyfriend". 🙄

So this might be a tough hole to dig myself out of, but I'd love some advice from ladies that have either been in a similar situation to my girlfriend and some guys that have managed to swing the pendulum in a different direction.

What are some things not to say that are just red flags? What are some green flags, stuff that would really plant the seed in her head.

I'm not a wannabe or a dreamer, this is something I'm deadly serious about, obviously it all depends on how she feels about it. I know there's potential for cuckold regret, but I'm willing to fight through it and live out my fantasy on as regular a basis as she's comfortable with. If it spirals out of control, so be it, as long as I don't lose her, that's the main thing.

Thanks for reading.

 

[CONST65]

Or... What really put you off the idea at first?

So let me add a bit of context, I'll try and be brief. I'm not married but I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she has no idea about my feelings of her being able to explore other people. It's something I seriously want to become a reality with the correct boundaries in place.

We have a very, very healthy relationship, she's truly my other half, we do live separately (which could be a real advantage). We never argue, and love eachother deeply.

However, I'd say she's a fairly traditional, normal vanilla kind of girl. She doesn't have a high sex drive, if anything she has low libido.

I'd like to tell her my feelings, I was thinking to bring it up during a bottle of wine when it is relevant to another conversation, I'd say something to get the ball rolling along the lines of: I would actually not mind if you had sex with someone else, if I'm going to be honest, the thought of it turns me on, the only thing that would bother me is the emotional side (if you got emotionally attracted to someone else, basically it was more than just sex). I thought it was strange at first but then I found out it's very common. I've felt this way for a while but never had the balls to talk about it. How do you feel about it? Etc...

I'm sure I can work on a better way of telling her.

One struggle I think I'll have is the fact that from the start of the relationship our conversations about our monogamous relationship have been just that... The thought of one of us stepping out of that monogamy hasn't been there. She wears a fake wedding ring when she goes out clubbing so guys don't approach her, she told me once a guy came to her and her friends to ask the time and she immediately said, "I have a boyfriend". 🙄

So this might be a tough hole to dig myself out of, but I'd love some advice from ladies that have either been in a similar situation to my girlfriend and some guys that have managed to swing the pendulum in a different direction.

What are some things not to say that are just red flags? What are some green flags, stuff that would really plant the seed in her head.

I'm not a wannabe or a dreamer, this is something I'm deadly serious about, obviously it all depends on how she feels about it. I know there's potential for cuckold regret, but I'm willing to fight through it and live out my fantasy on as regular a basis as she's comfortable with. If it spirals out of control, so be it, as long as I don't lose her, that's the main thing.

Thanks for reading.

Interesting story the inly thing you can do.is honest open communication Why di you guys live apart if you are in a serious relationship

 

[NancyJo]

I must say it was Bobs idea about 25 years ago. It didn't surprise me one bit that he wanted to but we are very secure in our relationship and I have to admit the idea intrigued me. Or maybe I should say it made me a little wet thinking about it. I wasn't really nervous when we met our first couple. They said they were experienced and very newbie friendly. It wasn't too far into the evening before the four of us were going at it on the bed. When he unloaded in me I think I landed on the moon. We've loved every twist and turn along the way and hope to for many more years.

 

[UKDevil]

Interesting story the inly thing you can do.is honest open communication Why di you guys live apart if you are in a serious relationship

We live apart because we were both independent when we met a few years ago and I used to work away a lot, it's nice to have our own houses to retreat to, we spend our free time either round hers or round mine. We spend our free time together we just own different buildings.

 

[farmlandcouple]

I’m still not convinced, but I am trying to understand it more

 

[Lovefeet]

I’m still not convinced, but I am trying to understand it more

Well...I'd say that it isn't for you. You either get it, or you won't. If you need convincing it's probably not your thing. I personally don't know why I fantasized about it at much younger age, but I did. And now I'm experiencing that fantasy I know I wasn't wrong.

 

[TommyFunn]

I'll open up and be honest here. My wife contracted (luckily a curable) std when she was having fun in her young and single years. It really left a mark on her. Early in our marriage this fantasy started getting in my head and it made me want it more and more. We decided after a short time to start an AFF account as a couple and met a guy on there who was a marine where I was stationed. He was in a different unit though. We played with him twice (I watched mostly) and she had a blast. I found her texts to him later that hurt me and made me jealous. So we stopped doing anything from that point on. Through more understanding and maturing, I've been ready to try again for years. She loves entertaining the idea in bed and even has a guy she likes to mention. Unfortunately he could never work out. She refuses to go online even though I said we would take our time and be patient and selective. We are busy as parents and in our careers too, so going to bars is something we would rarely get the chance to do. I don't think it would go anywhere anyway. If she gets some alcohol in her she loosens up a lot but is afraid otherwise. So for me, I don't think it's going past where it is. I can hope, but sometimes it's just not going to happen. That could be a good thing too considering how damaging this could be to a relationship if not done properly.