This is a key development in your "gauging" your relationship. You've picked up on when to be proactive. It's extremely positive that she was firm about "no one on one" and everybody plays together. Things certainly feel different this time around. I can understand why you feel safe/confident about going forward. From the way you write it, it feels like she not so oblivious to your experience.Beyond the details of this getaway, my wife is very predictable. I can tell where I stand with her based upon how she treats me. If she is distant and disengaged with me, that’s when I should be concerned. When she is very aware of me and my needs, then we let the horses run. She has been very aware of my needs for quite some time and has been especially keen recently. While, I can’t predict the future, I do my best to manage the odds while we continue to play with fire.
I know you're not expecting this but I think you'll earn points with your wife for having the courage and trust in her to make it work. She has to recognize that even being open to trying again with someone that nearly broke you up is a huge mental/emotional hurdle for you. It proves you have skin in the game and you're serious. I hope and pray she realizes this and makes an impression on her.
I'm strong proponent of your, "let the horses run" when things are in alignment and way fun. I'm looking forward to your take on everything afterwards! I think things are turning your way.